#1 Developer

Shared Theme Description

People who are especially talented in the Developer theme recognize and cultivate the potential in others. They spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.

Your Personalized Strengths Insights

By nature, you enjoy counseling friends when they turn to you for help, suggestions, opinions, or fresh perspectives. Usually you make discoveries and gain new insights each time you freely share your ideas, experiences, or feelings with your companions. Instinctively, you are naturally inclined to make sacrifices that benefit someone else. You enjoy being generous with your time, knowledge, skills, experiences, resources, or possessions. It's very likely that you have a gift for engaging people in group conversations. You also are an active participant. Your upbeat attitude energizes the dialogue. You acknowledge the ideas people share. You reinforce the value of what they say. Consequently, many people become even more willing to reveal their thoughts and feelings. Because of your strengths, you usually put aside what you want to do and even inconvenience yourself to serve others. People probably say you devote yourself to the welfare and interest of many individuals. You routinely put their needs ahead of your own. Chances are good that you routinely engage in group activities and projects. Often these benefit youth and small children.

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I'd have to say this 100% accurate

Strengths Finder

As I mentioned in a previous post my employer made it a requirement to read this book to find out our strengths and then to e-mail them our top 5 strengths. I will be posting my results. Initially I thought crap I have to read another book that was not my choice to read. As it turned out it wasn't bad like I imagined it. Once I took the quiz online and read the results I was amazed how much the results were correct. So here are my top 5 strengths:

Developer

Responsibility

Relator

Restorative

Empathy

I will post each one everyday this week with my results. This should give you a little more insight on who I am and I must admit it's accurate I never would have guessed it

Beautiful Day!

Is this not one of the most beautiful pictures you have seen? Okay, it is to me! I'm a sucker for brick ^_^ This Temple is located in Vernal, Utah and I hope to visit it one day. For the next couple days I will be going to a Temple close to me. I'm very excited I haven't been in a while so I'm kinda nervous also. It will be nice to have some quite time to reflect this evening and tomorrow morning. When I think back on the times I went before I remember how much love and peace is in my heart. I must say I miss that feeling. I'm so ready to have time to reflect on a lot of things and not have to worry about the time or what's going on in the world. Today is a Beautiful Day!!!!!!!

Gratefulness

I am grateful for a lot of things in my life. I am especially grateful for two very strong and important woman in my life. Where would I be without them? They have been apart of my life for over a decade even in my late teens I knew them. They have a great family now with two beautiful children that I adore. I would like to say Thank you for being apart of my life!! I am grateful for my Mother and that she did an awesome job of raising a great, responsible, smart, and beautiful daughter. That would be me ^_^

Somethings we take for granted. I was thinking last night about all the things I am grateful for. I am grateful for have a roof over my head, a vehicle to get around in, and cloths on my back, the trees, the sun, the moon, snow, the smell of the rain, the sound of laughter, and a simple I love you between two friends. I have good friends and some family members that I look up to. It only take one incident to change your feelings. I have been able to change negative emotions into something positive lately and I've been reading a lot more than usual and enjoying me time.

I've be pondering a lot of things lately. One being my career and if it's something I want to continue. I have several options on the table and am unsure of what to do. I enjoy my job don't get me wrong, but I do not enjoy working under the boss I currently have. I feel he is very negative and enjoys finding your weakness instead of strengths. Speaking of strengths we were assigned to read a book called "Strengths Finder 2.0" and to take the online quiz to see what our strengths are and then e-mail them to mtg. My thoughts are hmmm what will come of it. Does this mean they will focus more on our strengths in the workplace and encourage us in certain areas? Or is this an exercise for us to reflect on personally.

Did You Say Something?

I have become semi mute lately. I no longer speak much I feel that it is best I remain silent and keep my mouth shut and bit my tongue as much as possible. I give people the benefit of a doubt. I found out that people I trust have been dishonest with me. It really sucks and has you doubting others. One may ask how do I know it's true? Trust me I know their the only one who would have known the information. I have also been accused of things that aren't true. I really dislike it when assumptions are made about me. All I ask is for people to call me aside and talk to me and ask if you have a concern and not to discuss it with others because then rumors start. I hate being the last one to find out something that supposedly happened. I get that it's hard to talk to people I know for me if I care about you it's harder for me to talk to you or to say "No", but if I value you as a friend then I will get the balls to talk to you. Then it always end up being easier than I thought. It takes a lot for me to trust people and once that has been violated you have to rebuild it.

Bull****

Sunday Secret

A PostSecret card posted on http://www.postsecret.com/ today that I can relate to :)

A New Day

So my sis and I have tickets for the 12:04am showing tonight for Twilight New Moon. She will be the one to arrive first to stand in line and save seats. I will go home and sleep like a baby until 11:30pm. This is what happens when you get up there in age :) It's much harder to stay awake till midnight. The important question is if I'll be able to stay awake during the movie. I plan on staying awake but you never know.

I was restless going to sleep last night I tossed and turned for 30min before I did some relaxation techniques that worked since I don't remember going to sleep. The power of the brain is amazing. Relaxation is Awesome! If you've never tried it just try it once it works. Maybe I should make a relaxation CD?

Today is going well so far I'm pretty busy since I'm alone for most of the morning. I'm sending positive energy for the rest of the day to be good. Next break I will review my lesson for the kiddos on Sunday. I must get back to work now I just took a break to blog!!

People suck!

So where did this statement come from? Oh yeah! I remember! I must admit I do not believe this to be true.

There is no lesson to be learned from someone stealing your personal things
There is no reason for a child to be abused or murdered
There is no reason for a gay person to be beat to death
There is no reason for a person to lie and set you up for something you didn't do
There is no reason for a lot of things. Some of you may agree and some of you may not. There are four types of people I dislike most.

Liars
Thieves
Murderer
Pedophiles

Well my day started off good and I'm still doing OK except for the fact that I found out something today that I'm not happy about so inside I'm boiling. OK, I'm pissed, hurt, irritated, annoyed, and suspicious. I won't go into too much detail, but I will tell you it has to do with one of the above. Work has been good. I just got out of a long ass meeting again two days in a row now my head is spinning. I want to scream and yell "ice cream" jk ^_^

It's funny how you appear fine to others on the outside because your at work or school environment. You have to especially pretend in Corporate America or you make your whole team mad, upset or paranoid. I have fifthteen more mintues and I can go home. I will keep smiling :)

Work Work Work!

Corporate America you gotta love it and it pays the bills. OMG, Work was crazy today. I wanted to pull my hair out. I felt disconnected and off balance. Then throw an hour and half team meeting and it makes for a long day not to mention also throw shorty in the mix of things. It amazes me how immature adults can be and ignorant. Especially, when they know better . I guess I'm just rambling for now.

So I checked my Po Box yesterday and boy did I have a lot of mail so I picked through 10 items I wanted to look at and put the rest in the corner for the weekend review during my weekly cleaning session at home. I should have known my day would be off balance since I skipped my morning workout. Tomorrow I see my Personal Trainer at 5:30am sharp. This should help boost my day. He wore me out Monday so my core is a little sore yeah were working on strengthening my core up.

I'm trying to write daily even if its crap and doesn't make sense. I saw the wizard tonight and it went well. I needed it! I should probably get to bed since morning comes quick.

***** Kudos to Bre for getting the Customer Service award today. She is awesome and she deserved it. She bust her ass while I was out so it's nice to have your peers recognize it*****

Working out and back to work!

Today was a good day it started off at 5:30am with my new Personal Trainer. I really think it's a good fit aside from the nice eye candy. I started back working out this week so my sis and I will be working out at 5:00am on Tue and Thur weekly together our normal routine. I've slacked lately since I was sick, but I'm up and running again. I meet with the trainer again on Wed which means I don't get a break until Friday whew....

My first day back to work was good. I felt like I was slow , but I wasn't I was just anxious for some reason. It just seemed to good to be true that it went so smoothly. I was excited to see Bre that was good. I'm exhausted so this will be a short post. I hope everyone is doing well. Have a good evening everyone@^-^@

No way!

I received a phone call last night from my mother we were just chatting, then comes the words I've been waiting for. After a year I had given up hope. My mom said "I'm moving there to be with you so start looking for us a place." I was in shock and said OK and she said "I will care for the boys(my nephews) in Jan so I can move out in Feb" I hope I'm not getting my hopes up, but I really need my mom right now and she needs me her health is not good. This will be the first time my mother has moved from the state she and I grew up in. This is a big deal for her. I remember when my mom flew for the first time 10yrs ago it was cool to experience it with her. I hope I'm not speaking too soon. I had come to terms with the fact that my mom was not moving here I had stopped talking about it and it appears she has had some time to reflect on what she thinks is best overall this makes me very happy as if you can't tell ^_^ Now my sis, mom and I can be together now all I have to do is get my brother, sister-in-law, niece, and nephews to move that may be tough to do kinda like my mom. Today is also my mom birthday. Happy Birthday Mom I Love You!!!!!!!

Award

Thank you LeeRyan for this Award! You are Awesome also! I will name others who have not received this award. Bre you are also Awesome ^_^

By accepting this award I must tell 7 things about me that you don't know about me. I've already told a lot on my blog so lets see what I come up with.

1-I cry when a certain song plays regardless of the mood I'm in because I think of my brother while it plays
2-If I care about you and love you then it's hard for me to confront you and most likely I wont.
3-Collect Trolls and I have 100+
4-I will be getting a cat soon even though I'm allergic I need something to care/live for daily so I will be getting allergy treatment
5-I've been drawing and painting more over the last month and it's been fun and therapeutic
6-Due to me being a highly functioning person in spite of my life experiences I slip through the cracks easily and others expect too much of me
7- I spend $280+ a month in gas to and from work

The following awesome bloggers are tagged by me. You are free to accept or decline the terms of this award. I will still thank you, you are Awesome :) Links will be corrected I 'm have some trouble with it as Bre will know lol ^_^

Bent Objects (I love your bent objects there amazing)

Tasty Pastry (Recipes to die for :))

Star Wars Blog (Star Wars kick butt)

Wormbook (An Amazing woman who reads lots of interesting books)

Fashion Jinx (Great fashion if you have the body, just try it)

FemDolling (Awesome female figures if you like art)

Arod (A true blogger who blogs about life)

1.Thank the person who gave you this award
2.Copy the award
3.Post it on your blog
4.Tell us 7 things your readers don't know
5.Link 7 new bloggers
6.Notify winners of the award with a comment on there blog
7.Keep being Awesome

I'm Back!

Hello to all my blogger friends. I missed you all. Please disregard any spelling errors as my sight is not doing well at all. I still wanted to post and let you all know the No Tech really sucked. I've missed a lot and have some catching up to do. I had over 500 post I missed that I follow. Not to mention how much e-mail I'm going to have at work when I return and yes I haven't worked either. I miss Bre "Mauh" to you Bre ^_^ I did break the no texting or twitter rule that was a given. I will post more soon. My eyes can't handle any more at this point. So I will catch you all later.

No Technology!

Hello to my faithful followers! My system has been on overload lately. So I have decided that I will see how long I can go without technology. I'm on overload and really don't want to use it anymore. Although I will have to use the phone on occasions I will not use it for texting, twittering, internet, facebook or anything else. I need a break to filter all the negative things out of my life right now specifically the news, media, and internet. I'm feeling sick right now and the PMS isn't helping. The easy part will be no microwave he he I don't use them anyway or own one :) So this will be my last post for a while I hope. If it doesn't work and withdraws kick in badly I will return ASAP ^_^ Wish me luck!!! I will miss you all! If you knew my address you could mail me a letter, but I doubt you all have it :( Feel free to comment on how long you think I will last. It's like a diet or getting back into working out if you can make it past 3 weeks your good to go and the dependence or cravings are less or gone. Since the blog will be private and only approved followers will be able to comment I will open the comments so they don't need to be approved. So be good and nice! Any comments posted after this weekend I will read when I return to technology. Love you all!!!!!!! MAUH!!!!!!!

Geek? Nerd? or Dork?

I prefer Geek!

Baptism

Tomorrow I will be speaking at a young woman baptism. My talk will be about baptism. I'm really nervous I'm not one to speak in front of a lot of people especially when it comes to things that involve church. I don't know how many people will be there for my sake not many, but for her the more the merrier. I'm really excited for her and her children on her new journey. This may be a short post but it speaks volume!

100th Post

I have not been doing well lately this would include both mentally and physically. As my regular readers have noticed I twitter more than I blog now. This may be the most annoying post you have read on my blog (or maybe not) I am going to post 100 random things that most likely won't flow or make sense. Just know it's all true. Sometimes you just need to release whats in your head. This will probably be the most you ever get out of me about me and my life/experiences. So buckle your seat belt and welcome to my world/brain for a moment.

1. I'm sick of people bullshit

2. My **** *** **** ** ***

3. I want to leave this fucking country

4. My brain/emotions have been triggered by Jaycee kidnapping since I was also kidnapped as a child.

5. Why can't people accept you and your decisions they don't live your life so why tell them what you think is best for them

6. I love skittles the red pack of course

7. I just bought a pair of Juicy Couture sunglasses $100+ of course

8. Lately I've been thinking about dying and yes that means killing myself, but don't worry it will not be a huge shocker shit happens right

9. I know who my true friends are and I'm questioning one of them in my mind

10. My mom needs to get her shit together and quit falling "in love" with pedophiles

11. No amount of money will make you happy giving it to others makes me happy

12. Cubicles suck ass (Unless you sit next to BreJ)

13. I hate rap and music with profanity (I know and I'm using a lot of it right now :) )

14. I can't stand nosey people who want to be in your business

15. Less than a week ago I helped change someone mind about being baptized It felt good

16. Needy people irritate the hell out of me

17. I love watching Big Brother with my Ex for some reason it makes both of us happy

18. I use to model for American Eagle

19. I'm fluent in sign language and sometimes I wish I was deaf

20. Panda pisses me off every week

21. I'm a sucker for red heads, but I'm scared of what my children would look like o_O

22. My back hurts so bad everyday and if I took the medications I'm suppose to I would be addicted

23. I have watched people die in front of me and in my arms(and no I was never in the military)

24. I do not believe in a burning Hell

25. I believe that people who are convicted of child abuse should get life in prison and if convicted of murdering a child they should get Death

26. I am truly a Geek if you haven't already noticed

27. I really want a rotary phone I like the way they ring

28. When I use to live alone and I only had one bathroom in the apartment I would lock the door so no one could use it (people nasty!!!)

29. I have never been to jail

30. I love target shooting, but I won't use a target that is an animal

31. I am a SRA/DID survivor

32. It's amazing how this stuff just flows out of my head it's kinda scary to think that I have experience so much shit in my short life

33. I'm unsure about Marriage

34. Lately Xanax has been my best friend , but I'm not addicted (not yet)

35. I really want to be on the Amazing Race

36. I am terrrrrified of roaches I wont even kill them I scream and sometimes cry

37. I miss being in Love

38. I don't wear makeup unless it's a special occasion

39. Holidays freak me out so I always go to a movie on them (long story)

40. I have a lot of patience for children, but I don't for adults

41. I love getting pedicures

42. Red is my favorite color , but I really like pink too

43. I believe you should only kiss someone's ass if it depends on your survival (meaning death)

44. I've never worked in a restaurant or fast food place

45. When I moved to this state I saved 1K a year and in 10years I had over 10k so I bought my mom a car

46. My lil brother is a selfish lil Prick

47. My moms side of the family are Assholes

48. I'm surprised I'm still alive

49. I'm starting to feel a little better getting this crap off my chest

50. Why is it when you are accused of doing something your close family members don't ask if you did it only associates or strangers ask........ hmmm very interesting.......

51. I really enjoy blogging, but the thoughts I've had this summer are too crazy/scary to share

52. If someone asks me a question I am honest and tell them what I think. So why do they get mad if your too honest? Why ask?

53. Damn this is going to be a long Post I know were past 50 so if you need to stop reading I'm ok with it I don't blame you one bit

54. I stand for truth and righteousness

55. I delight in service and good works

56. I would die for my family

57. I would sacrifice myself to help others regardless of the consequences

58. I really love crushed ice by itself or in drinks

59. I eat pretzels everyday

60. Here is one that will blow your mind... I was conceived while my father was serving a life sentence (very long story)

61. I want to be cremated

62. I'm a Big kid at heart

63. My next computer will be a MAC I'm done with Windows (I'm still going to play City of Heroes)

64. I really dislike peanut butter

65. I order my pizza with no sauce

66. I love to cook and I'm good at it

67. When I grow up I'm going to be Canadian

68. Traveling means freedom

69. I kinda question someone if they don't have a passport or care to get one it just seems odd to me

70. Take me as I am

71. I am a unique individual and sometimes wonder why

72. I hate sleeping I normally only get 3-4hrs a night

73. I love playing video games

74. I'm an artist and love to create things and I love anime

75. I totally dislike coffee, but I love the smell of it

76. I want to go skydiving, but I can never find anyone to do it with me I don't want to do it alone
77. I'm unsure if I ever want to get married

78. I really want a pet but I'm allergic to dogs and cats

79. I could work in the dark all day if I was given the opportunity

80. Where have I been? I just discovered Wingstop OMG they have the best fries and wings of course

81. When I'm in my car I sing like I'm a superstar

82. I know every last word to the Wayne's World and Ninja Turtle movies (and I drive BreJ nuts)

83. I wonder how many people will make it this far down my list Honestly I don't know that I would read all 100 unless I kinda know the person

84. I gag when people have really bad body odor and if I have to work or be around them I breath through my mouth all day (cough cough.... Brandon)

85. One day at a time and one hour at a time gets me through life

86. This week I was told I went "Loco" on my cubicle lol truth is I did (BreJ... ya)

87. I have a blackberry and I only use 10% of it's special features

88. I have a list of things I want to do before I die and it's almost complete

89. I want to meet the Dalai Lama

90. I do not like being micro managed nor do I get along with micro managers

91. You are probably thinking "What the Hell?" If so it's ok I don't mind

92. This is the first Friday in September 2009 and I'm still unsure why I'm still here among you all

93. Life is crazy, fun, boring, shocking, amazing, disappointing, and unpredictable

94. Why do bad things happen to good people?

95. Sometimes I'm a tease and I like it

96. I go to the movies at least twice a week (yeah, I know I'm a movie whore)

97. I do not like the taste of alcohol

98. I do not like the taste of chocolate but I like the way it feels in my mouth when it melts

99. I really like bacon

100. I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY @(*_*)@

Crabby

I am so crabby today. My morning started off a lil stressful then I got some hopeful news. I arrived to work late due to the meeting I had to attend. Once at work I had to wrap up the project that is due today. Needless to say yesterday I was pretty much done with it I just needed to do touch ups and the power went out in the whole building Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.............. So I had to start over I got an extension on it. I'm just racking my brain right now.

I have been working on it since I got here and Bre has been kind to do my priorities for the day. What would I do without her. Thanks chickity!! While working and completely focused Shorty comes over to bug me about the key to the video conference room Agh...he said he wanted me to give it to Bre and that I didn't need it anymore. I snapped gracefully (passively) It turned into me just throwing my hands up saying take the key I don't want to have anything to do with the video conference room anymore lol lol I kinda snapped at my boss I felt like he was half ass trying to take some of my job "duties away" so I said if I can't have a key I don't want to be responsible for helping others with the set up etc...

So he proceeded to say lets talk about this at my desk blah blah blah. So he says while **whining** I'm not trying to take your responsibilities away (blah blah blah is what I was saying in my head as he was talking.) He said he was sorry for coming across like he did at my desk and said you are the one who have been here the longest doing it so we will get you a key made by security when he returns, but in the meantime for me to give my key to Bre and I said fine. I have no problem with Bre having a key she sits next to me so I can get it anytime. The point was why take my key when two others in the office have a copy who don't need it so just take one of theirs not mine when I'm the one everyone know will have a key.

He also pointed out that I was short with him at my desk. I said I agree he said ok were good? I said yes were good. Sometimes Corporate America drives me crazy. I so try to bit my tongue most of the time but today I'm Crabby!!

I don't drink but I just may have to have one after work today ^_^ A nice glass of Merlot I can so taste it right now. O.K I feel better :)

This week(Updated)

This is one of those weeks I dread. This is a very stressful week. I'm in pain and I have to deal with appts/ctdates/pro liar/pt/therapy.

I started my day at 4:30am I went to the gym and had a productive workout but had to drag my ass there once there I still felt like crap until the adrenaline started kicking in, then I was on a roll. The down side is once the workout, showering, getting ready for work is over I have about an hour til the pain starts again. I wish I could have a prescription for adrenalin^_^ it seems to keep the pain away, anyway I made it to work I think between Bre and I we equal one person today. I have two appts today, one appt tomorrow, one appt Thur, and one on Friday.

Emotionally, I am a wreck right now. TG for prescriptions they take the edge off. I'm thinking I need a vacation I need a break from life right now. I do not look forward to meeting with the liar today, but it must be done. If he wants to talk about what I think, he will be very disappointed and probably mad. My primary support people are not here right now due to a death in the family so I'm on the skating rink alone at least that's how I feel. I will do my best not to freeze up and shut down today during the liar meeting. I normally don't blog about anything to personal unless it's on my private blog, but what the hell you only live once right?

Some of you reading this may be probably thinking what the F is she talking about. It's OK if you don't get it I just need to rant/ramble. I so need my mom right now. I'm on a very thin edge of glass creeping across trying not to fall through. She should be coming to live with me soon I hope as long as she doesn't change her mind. I need her just as much as she needs me right now. We both need each other emotionally and she needs me physically for her health etc...

Time is dragging ass right now. All I can do is take it one day at a time is all I can do @(*_*)@

PS.S Lets see how long it takes the liar to cancel the appt LOL

Updated:
Ha Ha the pro liar called and cancelled of course I knew it. The amout of money I've put into him is crazy. Any how his secretary said he will call me around 3pm and we will meet over the phone lol what a bunch of poop. That is like having a doctor or therapist call you and say hey I need to cancel and I will call you instead and we will talk about your pain or problems over the phone and oh yeah by the way I still have to charge you. What a joke! He's in for a rude awaking!!

OCD

Alright, I have some OCD issues. I've actually come a long way with them. Recently, It has come back with a vengeance. I won't go into a lot of details on all of them. There is one that has completely taken over me lately. I have tried and tried to overcome it, but nothing seems to work. I know this will sound crazy (^.^)

I can no longer enter a Wal-Mart. I believe if I do I will be contaminated and die. There are way too many people there I use to go to Wal-Mart and have always felt the germs on my skin while in there I swear whenever I've gone into one I've gotten sick now I know this may be in my head, but I believe it and that's all that matters. All I hear and see when I'm there is people coughing and sneezing I'm getting the chills just writing about it. I know this is an irrational fear but it has still taken over me. I have no problem going the rest of my life not entering a Wal-Mart.

Sometimes my sis and others want to go to Wal-Mart and I cannot get out of the car to go in This sucks!!!! I'm not sure I want to overcome it, but if I want to go "shopping" with others and they want to go to Wal-mart then I need too. It only affects my social life a little not much. I don't know this is probably something I should go work on in Therapy eh!

23 years ago

Today is the anniversary of my brother being murdered I was a kid when this occurred. As the years pass it gets easier. I now know two good people who have a birthday today so that helps to put less of a damper on the feelings and I can also celebrate this day now also. I had a good day and didn't think about it much. I did have a moment and wished I was closer to visit his grave. The number 23 is also my favorite number maybe it's a sign I didn't cry once today ^_^

control, family, and religion

This morning I way just bumming around until it was time to go to the gym. A friend of mine who I attend church with texted me and asked if I wanted to hang out and drive a couples hours for a water skiing, swimming, fishing, bbq with others from church. I asked her for the details and she said it was on fb because were members of the group. So I text her and said I could not find the details on fb and asked her to log in and message me with the link. About 10 min went by then I receive a text stating "I can't get on fb because my parents blocked it" I replied "really" while thinking WTF. Long story short we ended up not going.

First of all she is 29 for crying out loud and is the youngest one in the house. Granted I know she still lives with her parents and has to abide by their rules but damn. She has lived on her own before. My take on it is that her parents are supper controlling and rather she live with them until she gets married I'm so glad I don't have parents like that. I wonder what they would do if they found out she has a myspace account ^.^ I could never live under such control regardless of my religion and because I know her personally I can say "religion has a lot to do with it" The sad thing about the whole thing is she is a good daughter and they should trust her to make her own decisions

I guess I don't understand why adults still let their parents control them by making decisions for them when they live in their house. Especially when the person knows before they go back home how controlling their parents are. I don't get it! I understand the normal rules such as not bringing a "partner" home for the night (that's disrespectful), contributing towards the house etc.. but picking your boyfriends, dictating what movies you see, approving who you hang out with and what sites you go to online. Just plain weird to me! It just goes to show how much the influence of LOVE have on people! LOVE is dangerous :)

Junior Achievement

I received another certificate today! This one is from Junior Achievement. I know it's hard to read and I removed my name. This is what it says:

This certificate is awarded to

Pea

In recognition of outstanding contributions in 2008-2009

Thank you for providing the link between education

and future opportunities for our young people.

Your inspiration will help the youth of today

become the business leaders of tomorrow

This one is from JA I have been doing JA in a day for the last couple years and I enjoy it. For those who don't know what "JA in a day" is it's a program where employees of local businesses volunteer for one day to teach a class depending on the grade decides on the topic. The first time I taught 1st graders with another volunteer. The next year I went to the same school and taught 2nd graders and the great thing about that was I had most of the same kids from the 1st grade class and they remembered me and it was my birthday what a great present :). I taught that class by myself at first I was nervous, but after I was told by the 1st grade teacher from the year before that I would have some of the same children I wasn't nervous anymore because I felt like I knew them. It was a good day and the kids were like are we going to see you when were in the 3rd grade and I told them I didn't know but I would try. That's the beauty about children they don't forget people who have been a positive influence in their life. I look forward to doing it again before the year is out ^_^

Anexoria

I know the pic isn't flattering, but it is a reality for some people. When I see women especially young girls who have this disorder it’s sad :(. On Tue and Thur when my sis and I go to the gym further North so it's closer to our jobs we encounter a woman who looks similar to the woman in the picture at the gym but worse at least by my eyes . I myself am working on losing weight I'm trying to reach the weight I was a year ago. As long as I keep up my routine I should be back to where I'm comfortable. Stress can cause a person to go through issues with food and depending on what the individual person eating habits are they could go either way toward food (that would be me) or away from food.

The interesting part was just last night I was going to bed and Oprah was coming on and it was about people who were obese to the point where death was imminent. That was also sad because it's not about people being lazy like most people think. It's a disease, an addiction just with food like alcohol they need support also. Now that I've had my dose of both extremes in a 24hr period I have finally come to accept that I am not fat it could be worse. I just need to tone some and loose some weight not a lot ^_^

Clips

I like photography. I use to carry my camera with me where ever I went. I no longer do this. The nice thing about having a phone with a nice camera on it is that I don't have to carry it with me granted it's not my SLR but it works and has a nice zoom on it. The pics are slightly blurry.

I saw this a few days ago and had to get a picture of it. I took several shots at different angles but choose this one for the post. I've always like different color paper clips so when I saw these huge paper clips (sculpture) in front of a building I thought this is cool I gotta get a picture of it. Needless to say I was late to an appt because I had to take it right that moment and not wait til after my appt. I love the color red it speaks to me :) I own so much red cloths that I have at least two loads of laundry (^.^)

Working out

Well as some of you know I've been working out a lot lately trying to accomplish some goals. My sister and I have been working out together three days a week together and we each have our own personal trainer who works with us for an hour on a different day. We have choosen to take Mon and Fri off to rest then we have one day where we do our own thing.

Well this morning after we swimmed laps we got into the hot tube I did not realize it but the whole time my sister still had the goggles on but they were on her forhead and once we were in the locker room getting our things for a shower she took the goggles off and tha-dah this is what she had on her forehead. I started laughing of course and she was like what so I said your head I gotta take a pic of it, so here is a pic of my sis ^_^ I did ask her if it was ok if I blogged about her and she said people are going to know who I am I said nah only three or four people at work even knows about the blog and she said ok. I love her! What a great trooper. Lesson learned don't wear goggles on your forehead in the hot tub because they will make you look like an alien.

Juicy

So I like Juicy Couture. OK, I love Juicy Couture.

I'm not a high maintenance person like some women when it comes to name brands. This is the only girly name brand thing I am somewhat addicted to he he.. During one of my recent shopping adventures I purchased some Juicy Couture of course. Today I am struggling with not going to the mall during lunch to by something else juicy ^_^ So I called to see if my sales woman was working and sadly she wasn't :( If she had been there today nothing would have held me back from going there to purchase something else that has been on my list. I only go purchase things when she is there because they work on commission and she is awesome and has always been willing to help. Sometimes you walk into stores where the employees work on commission and they may judge you right off the bat on whether you will buy something or can afford it. She was very welcoming and not judgemental. She is working tomorrow so lets see if I can resist going ^_^

Get over it!

Here is my opinion and I really don't care if anyone agrees with it. Personally I do not believe that Crowley had racial intentions. Regardless if the Police Dept has had racial issues in the past that is not a reflection on all police officers.

I can understand why Gates thought and felt the way he did. Gates is 75yrs and who has most likely experience a lot of racism during his early life and that affects a person perception on how they view situations especially if you have been in a similar situation before as a young man who felt he had no voice. When being confronted in your own home and "not knowing why they are there, regardless of what the officer stated" I can see being extremely pissed off to prove it's your residence as a "black man" living in a nice area.

"Man/Men" is the key word in this situation not racism.

I understand Crowley was doing his job. He was taking verbal attacks from Gates while performing his job, which would also piss you off whether you are on or off duty. But being on duty you should take the higher ground and not be reactive and take it personally.

What it boiled down to was who is the bigger man I believe Crowley was pissed along with Gates, but wanted to prove who had the power since his pride had been affected. It was two men trying to claim there territory. I believe Crowley wanted to show him who had the power due to their interaction not his race.

Pills and Movies

This week I was in so much pain. I have prescribed pain medication, but I normally don't take them because of how they make me feel. I tend to only use them on the weekend so my work performance isn't effected by them. I have a high pain tolerance and can normally handle the pain. Yesterday, Friday I could no longer handle it. I made it through the work day without taking it. So after I left work and completed my errands then I was headed to the movies I was half way there and decided I could no longer handle the pain so I figured I should take something for it otherwise I would not be comfortable at the movies especially sitting another 2hrs. I took one pain pill and one other pill to help my muscles relax. I've taken this combo before and felt some relief without any weird side effects.

I get to the theater and went straight to watch the movie The Ugly Truth and did not buy anything to eat I just had a drink that I carried in. I started feeling sleepy during the movie, but kept watching the movie I was in so much pain I cannot describe it I should not have went. The next thing you know I was watching a movie eating popcorn that was not the Ugly Truth, it was The Orphan and I was so out of it you would have thought I was drunk or had taken a lot of pills instead of just two pills (obviously I'm a light weight). I was eating popcorn with that nasty oil on it I never buy that stuff. I vaguely remember leaving the theater. I do remember getting into my car to drive home. Legally I probably should not had driven home I'm grateful I made it home safely without injuring anyone I'm so grateful. This will NEVER happen again. I do not remember driving home. I do remember struggling getting the door open once home. Once I was in I stumbled to my bed and passed out. I recalled these events once I woke up it's pretty cloudy.

I had 6 alarms set to help me get up daily when I know I have to get up. I apparently turned all 6 off. My sis called me at 7:10am this morning I just barley missed her 2nd call. I looked at the phone and then texted her "OMW" see I was suppose to meet her at 7am at the gym. I tried to move and was in sooooo much pain still. So I sucked it up and went to the gym. I probably should not had done that either. I worked out for three hours and the endorphins made me forget about the pain temporary. Once I left I wanted to walk in front of a car to put me out of my misery......... To Be Continue................................

Piggy

This is my girl she lives with me in my bedroom on my nightstand. She loves dimes, nickels, quarters, and paper. She is allergic to pennies, she really doesn't like it when she is called a penny bank. She is a Princess Piggy bank. She really enjoys her space around her she is very claustrophobic too much clutter around her drivers her crazy. Next to her is her friend best friend Juicy Couture, then we have her oil perfume, a book light, and a pink box that contains something special and valuable (for our eyes only.) Last but not lease we have her little blue pill I'm not sure if you noticed it, but if you did this is for her survival he he... Piggy wanted me to tell you that she will be back to post a blog soon and that she looks forward to your comments oink oink.............

Blame it on the laptop...

I had to be productive this weekend I got a lot done around the house along with cleaning and rearrange my whole bedroom and went shopping. It's my laptop fault if it hadn't got sick I would not had gone shopping ^_^ So I'm blaming it on my laptop! I purchased new bedding and some other things. It was a huge process I purchased one then I took it back because it didn't match my bedroom. Then I found the perfect one that matched this made me happy :)

These are photos of my new bedding the closer shot gives you an idea of what it really looks like along with the colors and the one from a distance the colors look off I think the flash was off. Isn't it Beautiful? I know the pic below is plain looking that was intentional I didn't want to reveal the whole room so this is what I came up with. It is a 22 piece set it came with three throw pillows I'm sure you can figure out which ones those are. I know it's not arranged that well I just put the pillows on so I could take a picture of it. As we all know the pillows always end up on the floor he he.. I was asked what size bed it was and if you all must know its a Queen size. Before I got this one I wanted a day bed so I could have more space in my room even though I have the master bedroom. I know a day bed is not for adults so I thought about it and for long term decided a Queen would be better although I think a King is too big unless I lived in a palace, which is where I really belong ^_^ There you go a little taste of my taste..

One of those days!

It was one of those days at work. I took this picture of Bre while she was sleeping during her lunch break isn't she cute : ) It was a drag your ass day at work. Not much work was produced this was due to us having "Jamba Juice Day" for the whole office it was catered of course this started around 11am, then for lunch the bosses ordered pizza due to our audit going well last month. Bre and I were suppose to see Harry Potter last night, but we both ran into a glitch. My glitch was my own fault I fell asleep during the midnight showing. This was by no means a reflection of how the movie was it was good from what I saw. What can I say I was tired, as you all know I don't sleep that well at night so I get it whenever and wherever I can. I function so much better the next day after a 3am showings than a midnight showing he he...I will go see it again this weekend. I slept but I didn't sleep. I saw the first part of the movie then I curled up like Bre is pictured with my blanket/throw that I took with me ^_^ I remember being awaken by screams along with my sis to the left of me and someone I don't know to the right jumping through out the movie. It was kind of disturbing my sleep I remember thinking in my head during the 3secs I was awaken each time shhhhh then I would go back to sleep lol lol.... Movie chairs are not comfortable even if they are leather and rock my neck was killing me. Hopefully I will sleep tonight!

Range

I'm long over due for a visit to the range I keep getting these newsletters from the indoor range I'm a member of I don't mind them but some of the things they include in them I don't agree with. I understand I'm not your typical (republican) gun owner. I'm more the " middle of the road" when it comes to political issues. Depending on the subject I may go Ind, Rep, or Dem. I must admit I stop reading the newsletters regularly during and after the election although I still have them. They were filled with so much hatred and fear. Encouraging people to buy guns before and after Obama won. Due to those newsletters I had decided not to renew my NRA membership last year. I continue to be a member of a club whose views are very different than mine because I like to shoot targets/competition etc.. and enjoying doing it in a controlled environment as oppose to going up to the mountains and shooting with people who have no understanding of gun safety.

Here are a few clips (copy/paste) from some of the newsletters the ones I do not think are appropriate I will not include. Let me know some of your thoughts on them please! Am I overreacting or justified in how I feel?

"One of our staff members said that the front page of Newsweek should have
a smiling picture of Barak Obama with the caption: "Barak Obama - The
Number 1 Gun Salesman in America"

"The interesting thing is that we are finding there are two reasons why more people are buying guns. The first is there is a legitimate fear that the assault ban will be coming back and people are buying AR rifles, high capacity handguns and small, very concealable handguns. The other group is nervous about the deteriorating economic situation and potential social unrest (crime wave) that might develop. We are entering into interesting times and we are here to help!"

"We encourage you to stock up on guns and ammo that may be banned or regulated by the Obama administration "

"Election Implications: With the election of Barak Obama, a lot of people nation wide have been buying guns just in case the new administration puts more stringent gun laws in effect. We are still able to get handguns and rifles shipped in from our suppliers and we are not inflating our prices on special orders. Our pricing is 10% over our cost plus $30 for shipping. So, if you are concerned about the future, we can help. The areas in which you might see restrictions are on assault rifles and high capacity magazines. Remember, we are the only place in town where you can try before you buy. We can also make bulk ammo purchases for the people who would like to stock up. For details, please visit the store."

Death

Well I've had my share of deaths starting at an early age. I stop counting once it went pass 10 and I wasn't even a teenager yet. Most of you probably know I watched the Michael Jackson memorial. His death has effected me not because I was a huge fan or because he was famous, but because I'm sensitive to when people die even if I don't know them. I could also relate to him and his family on some things/issues. This is coming from someone who cries when the feed the children infomercials are playing and I just want to bring them all home with me.

I can relate on the level of losing a big brother as Janet Jackson did. I was also 11yrs like Paris Jackson when my big brother(who was 17) was murdered. I can remember it as if it was yesterday down to what occurred that whole day. We were far from famous but we had similar struggles growing up. Our situation was with our extended family and not the media. I've also had my fair share of media exposure (but that's another blog post). My extended family were very cruel to my small immediate family consisting of my Mom, two brothers, and myself. We were poor but rich at heart. Because we lived a simple, charitable, and humble life. My mom did not raise us to be greedy, money hungry, or materialistic. As I grew up I maintained the same attitude that I was raised with I can't say the same for my lil brother. The family had spreaded rumors about my big brother and no it did not involve any type of abuse. We were disowned by our entire family and treated like dirt up until the day my brother passed away(that's another blog post). It turned out to be a piss on you situation to them from us. My little family was know all over town/city to be good people especially my mom who had helped so many people.

After my brother death we found out that my brother was baptized a couple months before he was murdered. So we had the service at his church. The church was huge not only was every seat filled, but some had to stand for the service. Our extended family attended the funeral and keep asking who all these people were and how did they know us I just looked at them thinking "who are you should be the question?" It was beautiful to have everyone who know us be to there along with people who had never met us but were effected by our family in a positive way some how and wanted to share that time with us. As I watch the casket being driven it was like my brother funeral, but I was in the car behind the Hearst. I was glad to be watching on the outside this time. Sitting in the front row for this type of service is no fun. A month from today will be the anniversary of my brother death Aug 8th.

I took yesterday off to watch the memorial and had a scheduled appt for myself immediately afterwards to pamper myself at the Spa where I spent about 5hrs. I was so relaxed afterwards. Every now and then we all just need to be pampered :)

If

theres a group of people out there that expect their mate to change so that their goals align with the others'

theres another group of people that do not wish for their mate to change at all and of course they do and simply respond with 'people change'

i have found myself in both of these groups with the lack of understanding that change is inevitable but we dont always recognize it as such

i now know that i dont want the impression of change to occur or bend with me in sight

if the change occurs naturally and becomes misaligned with the intentional goals sought out by both mates then it was never meant to be

if there is insight proven for a need of change then it was never meant to be

if your vocabulary/communication obstructs the truth or you can never be sure of the exact meaning put into context ...or if you are in the same book but cant find the same page...or if you are in the library at the same time but cant find the same book...trouble lurks ahead

if your goals (short and long term) dont align, then whats the point?

if you are looking for a relationship the right one will not occur, if you are not searching for a relationship it seems as though 'when it rains it pours'

then there is the term of isolation which is meant for nourishment of your soul, use this time wisely, although lonely it is time for discovery and allowment for search, growth, healing and rebirth

News! (Update)

I'm keeping my fingers cross :) I am hoping for some good news today! If it doesnt happen life must go on. I should know by this afternoon if its good news I will share with you all this week maybe :) If it's bad I need to pounder if I will share it.

P.S.
Apparently my post are'nt updating in the area of blogs your following. I haven't figured out why yet. If anyone finds out let me know plz, Thank you!

Update: Sorry, there is no good news to report or bad. It was just news!!

Sad 4th The Player

1973-2009

Another good person lost their life. So much death within the last month from actor/actress/musician/sportsmen and lets not forget the soldier's who passed today also. If you know me then you know I am a big Titans Fan (not stalker type) but I love my Titans as I mention earlier I love sports. My thoughts go out to his wife and sons and he was truly a nice guy. I was privilege to meet him once. We called him the Music City Miracle. These are photos I took at the last game the Titans played in Denver.

Watch this Pass!

Coin Toss!

By the way I had club seats the only down side was being in the club house surrounded by mostly Bronco fans he he..., nice view eh! :) I am in some of the photos I took or had others take even with players due to my connections :) but I can't post them I must remain anonymous!

Happy 4th The Game

Serena does it again! She is #1 among the ladies winning Wimbledon, Australian Open, and US Open . I love it when the lil sister kicks the big sister butt he he..anyway I played tennis in high school. I enjoy watching it and I say the game was good what can I say I'm a sports person. Not to mention she has nice legs. My legs use to look like that! I like my legs now but hers look better.

Do I look like a Bank?

I'm having issues with family and friends wanting to borrow money from me or just wanting a free hand out. I am so tired of this! Don't get me wrong I love helping people when they are in need even if it involves giving them money, but don't take advantage of my kindness. I know how to say NO, but I have to admit to some people saying NO is hard because I love them and I care about them.

I'm not a pushover by no means. I know how to say NO. I know how to save and budget money. I've had a checking account since I was 15yr old. I have been known to be good at saving money. I use to save money with the thoughts of "What if an emergency happens I will need money?" Then I would never spend it on myself it would only go to helping others while I wait for that emergency to happen. The emergency finally arrived and I went through all of my savings. This sucked because I could have spent some of it on me. I am glad I had money saved otherwise I would have been one of those people borrowing money.

Then reality struck one day when I realize I had less then $5.00 dollars in my "fun checking account." I thought what happened to all my money. Oh I remember! I paid a some bills for someone to help them out and didn't calculate what I had in my account. Good thing this account isn't the account I pay bills out of or I would have been screwed. I had to ask someone two days before I got paid one day if they would go with me during lunch and help me get some gas and that I would pay them back on payday. I wasn't embarrased because everyone needs a little help every now and then. It just taught me to start thinking about my needs before others. I could have dipped into my savings instead of asking for gas but I saw no need since I would be getting paid two days later. I still save money like before I just do it with a different mindset and spend money on myself instead of just for an emergency. I have spent more on myself in the last 3 mth than I have in a long time and I like it ^_^

I AM NOT A BANK It would be nice if some of those people would read my blog, then maybe they would realize how they appear and how they should be more responsible with their money.