Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who have been here to support me through the good and bad times. I'm thankful for new and old friends! I'm also grateful for all the blessings I have received and for my family ^_^

Summer Adventures!

It has been a busy summer for me. I hope to blog more now that my travels are over and since I don't sit in a cubicle all day anymore I have a regular desk now :) I have been to 11 states in the last 3 mths crazy huh! One of my Godchildren died on July 3rd he was 11 so I went to spend time with the family in WA state. While there I applied for some jobs it's one of the places I may be moving to.

I also had the pleasure of meeting my youngest Goddaughter she is 2 and she is the cutest thing. She calls me Cozie if you know my name you will understand. She is pictured her with her night light I got for her. She carries it around everywhere she go now.


During my travels I meet some wonderful people I'm glad I got to meet. I went to a Juicy Couture store in another state and brought myself a gift ^_^ I also went to two different IKEAs and had a blast shopping. My Goddaughter above was not happy that she wasn't tall enough to go to the kids play area. Before I hit the road for my final leg my tire psi was low so I had to get a new tire due to a hole in my tire. Good thing I always check my car before taking long drives. The free oil changes I get for two years is coming in handy.


My hair has been in many different styles since growing it out again. I may post one I'm unsure and still trying to decide. Now its back to getting up early. This week has been very productive but busy and good.

During my drive back I took this picture just ignore the bugs on the windshield ^_^

control, family, and religion

This morning I way just bumming around until it was time to go to the gym. A friend of mine who I attend church with texted me and asked if I wanted to hang out and drive a couples hours for a water skiing, swimming, fishing, bbq with others from church. I asked her for the details and she said it was on fb because were members of the group. So I text her and said I could not find the details on fb and asked her to log in and message me with the link. About 10 min went by then I receive a text stating "I can't get on fb because my parents blocked it" I replied "really" while thinking WTF. Long story short we ended up not going.

First of all she is 29 for crying out loud and is the youngest one in the house. Granted I know she still lives with her parents and has to abide by their rules but damn. She has lived on her own before. My take on it is that her parents are supper controlling and rather she live with them until she gets married I'm so glad I don't have parents like that. I wonder what they would do if they found out she has a myspace account ^.^ I could never live under such control regardless of my religion and because I know her personally I can say "religion has a lot to do with it" The sad thing about the whole thing is she is a good daughter and they should trust her to make her own decisions

I guess I don't understand why adults still let their parents control them by making decisions for them when they live in their house. Especially when the person knows before they go back home how controlling their parents are. I don't get it! I understand the normal rules such as not bringing a "partner" home for the night (that's disrespectful), contributing towards the house etc.. but picking your boyfriends, dictating what movies you see, approving who you hang out with and what sites you go to online. Just plain weird to me! It just goes to show how much the influence of LOVE have on people! LOVE is dangerous :)

Death

Well I've had my share of deaths starting at an early age. I stop counting once it went pass 10 and I wasn't even a teenager yet. Most of you probably know I watched the Michael Jackson memorial. His death has effected me not because I was a huge fan or because he was famous, but because I'm sensitive to when people die even if I don't know them. I could also relate to him and his family on some things/issues. This is coming from someone who cries when the feed the children infomercials are playing and I just want to bring them all home with me.

I can relate on the level of losing a big brother as Janet Jackson did. I was also 11yrs like Paris Jackson when my big brother(who was 17) was murdered. I can remember it as if it was yesterday down to what occurred that whole day. We were far from famous but we had similar struggles growing up. Our situation was with our extended family and not the media. I've also had my fair share of media exposure (but that's another blog post). My extended family were very cruel to my small immediate family consisting of my Mom, two brothers, and myself. We were poor but rich at heart. Because we lived a simple, charitable, and humble life. My mom did not raise us to be greedy, money hungry, or materialistic. As I grew up I maintained the same attitude that I was raised with I can't say the same for my lil brother. The family had spreaded rumors about my big brother and no it did not involve any type of abuse. We were disowned by our entire family and treated like dirt up until the day my brother passed away(that's another blog post). It turned out to be a piss on you situation to them from us. My little family was know all over town/city to be good people especially my mom who had helped so many people.

After my brother death we found out that my brother was baptized a couple months before he was murdered. So we had the service at his church. The church was huge not only was every seat filled, but some had to stand for the service. Our extended family attended the funeral and keep asking who all these people were and how did they know us I just looked at them thinking "who are you should be the question?" It was beautiful to have everyone who know us be to there along with people who had never met us but were effected by our family in a positive way some how and wanted to share that time with us. As I watch the casket being driven it was like my brother funeral, but I was in the car behind the Hearst. I was glad to be watching on the outside this time. Sitting in the front row for this type of service is no fun. A month from today will be the anniversary of my brother death Aug 8th.

I took yesterday off to watch the memorial and had a scheduled appt for myself immediately afterwards to pamper myself at the Spa where I spent about 5hrs. I was so relaxed afterwards. Every now and then we all just need to be pampered :)

Do I look like a Bank?

I'm having issues with family and friends wanting to borrow money from me or just wanting a free hand out. I am so tired of this! Don't get me wrong I love helping people when they are in need even if it involves giving them money, but don't take advantage of my kindness. I know how to say NO, but I have to admit to some people saying NO is hard because I love them and I care about them.

I'm not a pushover by no means. I know how to say NO. I know how to save and budget money. I've had a checking account since I was 15yr old. I have been known to be good at saving money. I use to save money with the thoughts of "What if an emergency happens I will need money?" Then I would never spend it on myself it would only go to helping others while I wait for that emergency to happen. The emergency finally arrived and I went through all of my savings. This sucked because I could have spent some of it on me. I am glad I had money saved otherwise I would have been one of those people borrowing money.

Then reality struck one day when I realize I had less then $5.00 dollars in my "fun checking account." I thought what happened to all my money. Oh I remember! I paid a some bills for someone to help them out and didn't calculate what I had in my account. Good thing this account isn't the account I pay bills out of or I would have been screwed. I had to ask someone two days before I got paid one day if they would go with me during lunch and help me get some gas and that I would pay them back on payday. I wasn't embarrased because everyone needs a little help every now and then. It just taught me to start thinking about my needs before others. I could have dipped into my savings instead of asking for gas but I saw no need since I would be getting paid two days later. I still save money like before I just do it with a different mindset and spend money on myself instead of just for an emergency. I have spent more on myself in the last 3 mth than I have in a long time and I like it ^_^

I AM NOT A BANK It would be nice if some of those people would read my blog, then maybe they would realize how they appear and how they should be more responsible with their money.

Thinking out loud

I'm trying to decide if I want to take up karate again. I feel I need a little more fitness in my life right now. I know swimming laps during lunch is good, but I need more. I really hate going to the gym by myself or running by myself. When I was active in running my good friend (sister) and I use to run together in the evenings after her husband and I got home from work she was a stay at home mom. Once her husband was settled in for a couple hours then I would drive over and off we went without the children she only had 2 children a baby and a toddler.

We would start it off going uphill on our route and it was near their house. We would run 5ks together just for the fun of it we never cared about time as long as we finished in less than an hour. We would run together 95% of the race until towards the end and then one of us would start sprinting. The best part of the race was seeing my Godchildren (nephew & niece) and their father at the end waiting for us to cross. I cannot describe the feeling but it was good.

About six months after our last race together her husband killed himself with his police issued weapon. Why? We will never know, but what I do know is that he left two beautiful children behind and I am grateful that her and the children were in another state when he did it. Statically if they were home he would have taken his family with him. He was a runner also he enjoyed longer races like 10ks so we left that to him to do and he had his family waiting for him at the end also.

Due to the him killing himself in the home she decided not to return to the home or even the State with the children. So I was left in charge while in my 20's of getting things shipped to her hiring someone to do a bio hazard clean up, hiring a Realtor to sell the house, locating 3 hidden weapons in the house he hid to give to the police so that they could be shipped to his father because she did not want them. Apparently weapons have to be shipped between police departments across state lines when changing ownership. I handle things very well under pressure it's just when it's all over that I break down. It's around that time of year I start thinking too much about this life experience. This is when I lost my running buddy. The first 5k race I ran after this I ran alone since she was living in another state. When I got to the finish line I literally had a panic attack it's funny now, but it wasn't then. I was use to having someone waiting at the end and I had flashes of him and the kids it was very traumatic. I still struggle with doing a race and having no one waiting at the end.

This is my brain on stress!