I'm trying to decide if I want to take up karate again. I feel I need a little more fitness in my life right now. I know swimming laps during lunch is good, but I need more. I really hate going to the gym by myself or running by myself. When I was active in running my good friend (sister) and I use to run together in the evenings after her husband and I got home from work she was a stay at home mom. Once her husband was settled in for a couple hours then I would drive over and off we went without the children she only had 2 children a baby and a toddler.We would start it off going uphill on our route and it was near their house. We would run 5ks together just for the fun of it we never cared about time as long as we finished in less than an hour. We would run together 95% of the race until towards the end and then one of us would start sprinting. The best part of the race was seeing my Godchildren (nephew & niece) and their father at the end waiting for us to cross. I cannot describe the feeling but it was good.
About six months after our last race together her husband killed himself with his police issued weapon. Why? We will never know, but what I do know is that he left two beautiful children behind and I am grateful that her and the children were in another state when he did it. Statically if they were home he would have taken his family with him. He was a runner also he enjoyed longer races like 10ks so we left that to him to do and he had his family waiting for him at the end also.
Due to the him killing himself in the home she decided not to return to the home or even the State with the children. So I was left in charge while in my 20's of getting things shipped to her hiring someone to do a bio hazard clean up, hiring a Realtor to sell the house, locating 3 hidden weapons in the house he hid to give to the police so that they could be shipped to his father because she did not want them. Apparently weapons have to be shipped between police departments across state lines when changing ownership. I handle things very well under pressure it's just when it's all over that I break down. It's around that time of year I start thinking too much about this life experience. This is when I lost my running buddy. The first 5k race I ran after this I ran alone since she was living in another state. When I got to the finish line I literally had a panic attack it's funny now, but it wasn't then. I was use to having someone waiting at the end and I had flashes of him and the kids it was very traumatic. I still struggle with doing a race and having no one waiting at the end.
This is my brain on stress!