25 Random Things

Here are 25 things that people don't really know about me. I wasn’t sure I would do this when I first read the tag. Here we go!

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. Pass on to 25 of your friends.

1. I was born in Seoul, South Korea. At the age of ten, I migrated to the United States with my family. They lived in Staten Island, New York. I joined the middle school drama club in the 7th grade and performed in the musical My Fair Lady

2. When I was 6yr old I stop talking for two years

3. I attended high school at the prestigious Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School of Music & Art and Performing Arts, a public high school located in Manhattan

4. My father is American and meet my mother in South Korea

5. After graduation, I devoted myself full time to acting. I garnered several minor parts on MTV, in soap opera-style dramas on ABC, and on the off-Broadway stage

6. In 1996, a South Korean TV show filming in Manhattan called and persuaded me to return to my country of origin, to appear in the South Korean TV drama this was followed by two other roles

7. I love calamari I could eat it everyday if made properly as I enjoy cooking

8. Then in 1997 I was offered a script for her debut film, it was South Korea's first blockbuster film and became the highest grossing film in the history of Korean cinema in 1999

9. In 2006, Maxim named me on its annual List

10. I love anime it's truly an art that only certain people can appreciate

11. I appeared in Maxim again in 2007

12. The media attention was to much for me to handle so I began to get depressed and started having panic attacks due to me having stalkers and obsessed fans

13. I have one child who does not live with me he was giving up for adoption

14. In July 2003, signed a three-year contract with William Morris, an American agency representing Hollywood stars such as Halle Berry, Selma Hayek, and Kevin Spacey

15. In 2004 I was taping for a TV Series and had a panic attack on the set little did I know the attacks would become a daily thing. That is when I decided acting was not for me anymore

16. In 2005 I started with the company I work for now and I love it. No pressure and very relaxing. I still do modeling gigs on the side at times. I’m in the laying low status right now for my protection

17. I would like to live at sea one day

18. I enjoy traveling and must travel abroad at least once a year

19. I am currently working on a book about my life and how I ended up where I am

20. I have land and property in other States and countries but refuse to live in or on them due to my panic attacks

21. I don't like being in the sun. But, I love being outdoors

22. If you Google me you will get thousands of hits this use to freak me out, but now I'm okay with it

23. 23 has always been a lucky number for me and has never let me down

24. I do not know how much longer I will be living in the States

25. Last but not least the biggest fact of all is that Bre is an Awesome person and I hope to remain in contact with her no mater where I’m living ^_^

My First

This is my tooth that I have been having problems with. I went to the dentist a week ago and this is my tooth prepped for a Crown. This is my first Crown Isn't it Beautiful :) I have always taken good care of my teeth and never got a cavity until after I was thirty and you are now looking at it as it is filled with silver. I had the Dentist take a picture of my tooth with their really cool camera since I could not get a good picture with my cell phone ^_^ This is what my tooth looked like before the temp crown was put on. I was told that they have never been asked to take a picture of someones tooth and e-mail it to them before. I was also their First he he...This tooth has been killing me even with the temp Crown. Sorry, If I've been kinda Bitchy and overly assertive this week, now I have drugs (legal of course) I hope I don't have to have another First (Root Canal:( ) on this tooth I cannot imagine having bad teeth I love my teeth. I work with someone who has one tooth in her entire mouth at the bottom in the middle and it is black and I gag every time I accidentally look her in the mouth. There is no excuse for that when you have worked for the same company for over 25 years and have awesome benefits. It's just gross!

Thinking out loud

I'm trying to decide if I want to take up karate again. I feel I need a little more fitness in my life right now. I know swimming laps during lunch is good, but I need more. I really hate going to the gym by myself or running by myself. When I was active in running my good friend (sister) and I use to run together in the evenings after her husband and I got home from work she was a stay at home mom. Once her husband was settled in for a couple hours then I would drive over and off we went without the children she only had 2 children a baby and a toddler.

We would start it off going uphill on our route and it was near their house. We would run 5ks together just for the fun of it we never cared about time as long as we finished in less than an hour. We would run together 95% of the race until towards the end and then one of us would start sprinting. The best part of the race was seeing my Godchildren (nephew & niece) and their father at the end waiting for us to cross. I cannot describe the feeling but it was good.

About six months after our last race together her husband killed himself with his police issued weapon. Why? We will never know, but what I do know is that he left two beautiful children behind and I am grateful that her and the children were in another state when he did it. Statically if they were home he would have taken his family with him. He was a runner also he enjoyed longer races like 10ks so we left that to him to do and he had his family waiting for him at the end also.

Due to the him killing himself in the home she decided not to return to the home or even the State with the children. So I was left in charge while in my 20's of getting things shipped to her hiring someone to do a bio hazard clean up, hiring a Realtor to sell the house, locating 3 hidden weapons in the house he hid to give to the police so that they could be shipped to his father because she did not want them. Apparently weapons have to be shipped between police departments across state lines when changing ownership. I handle things very well under pressure it's just when it's all over that I break down. It's around that time of year I start thinking too much about this life experience. This is when I lost my running buddy. The first 5k race I ran after this I ran alone since she was living in another state. When I got to the finish line I literally had a panic attack it's funny now, but it wasn't then. I was use to having someone waiting at the end and I had flashes of him and the kids it was very traumatic. I still struggle with doing a race and having no one waiting at the end.

This is my brain on stress!

Warning contains Explicit content...Oops...

I have my normal routine in the morning. This morning I ran into a little snag. There is one other person who lives with me and this person is normally in their bedroom sleeping due to me having to get up so early for work. I sleep with my door shut most of the time If I'm not alone. I have the master bathroom so I can go into the bathroom from my walk in closet and there is another door that goes out to the hallway from the same bathroom. So I normally go to the bathroom brush my teeth and shut the other door for privacy if it's open.

Well this morning I did everything exactly the same. After my shower I was trying to figure out what I was going to wear so I only had my bottoms on. I decided to go and get a glass of soy from the kitchen. Okay, I did this in my bottoms only it's my place so whats the big deal right? As I started drinking from my glass I felt someone looking at me so I lean to the left and saw a man sitting up on the sofa having the deer in the head light look as if he was being hypnotize. I smiled gave a little wave and put my glass down and walked back to the bathroom. Once I was in the bathroom I looked in the mirror and said "Oops". I guess it could have been worse I could have had a lot more eyes looking at me like my anime friend above.

Needless to say I'm suppose to be informed if someone else will be staying over. I would assume he was awaken from the sounds and and looked up only to have a surprise waiting for him. I'm not upset or embarrassed which is kinda odd. I would have been embarrassed in the past. This was a test and a test I obviously needed. I had nothing to be ashamed of it's only a body.

The moral of the story is do not walk around your house naked, half naked, or three quarter naked unless you know absolutely 100% that you are alone ^_^

Remembering

This is one place I am very familiar with. I've had my share of attending funerals. This was the final destination after all the funerals I had attended growing up. The family I have lost up until this point have all been buried in a National Cemetery. I would visit the cemetery often growing up and knew exactly where everyone was even people I didn't know I would visit. When I was a teenager I would visit a very special family member frequently and I would fall asleep next to his headstone on different occasions along with the plastic flowers that were only allowed at the cemetery. This was the only reason I was late getting home as a teenager. Never once did I admit I had fallen asleep at the cemetery. The grounds keepers knew me by name and never bothered me unless I was sleep and they were locking the gate. If it was a nice night they would let me be they knew when I awoke I would just jump the wall to get out. Then the cemetery was declared full I didn't know what to expect. Another National Cemetery was built and my grandmother was the first in our family to be buried there. I was very disappointed when that happened because I had always
thought growing up that most of my family would be buried together, but I was young and naive.

I also had always thought that everyone had a flag on their casket until I attended a regular funeral. It was an odd moment .

Brave Ones

Barns & Stables

So yesterday this girl I know asked me if I wanted to go to a dance/party and I said sure because I needed to get out and step outside my box and I hadn't spent much time with her in a while. The only condition was that I didn't want to drive. We met up and once we were on the road she gave me the address and I input it into my GPS navigation I did not realize until then that we were going to good ol Fort Collins. Then I regretted not wanting to drive considering it was going to take 2 1/2 hrs to get there. Once put into the GPS and it was loaded it stated our ETA was 9:13pm so I said to her "didn't you say it was over at 10pm?" she said "yes"I said "you do realize that were only going to be there for about an hour and then it would be over." She said "really" I said "yeah, do you still want to go?" she had that look on her face like she really wanted to go and she said "yes" I'm a sucker for that look from people only because I want the other person to be happy.

I said okay but your going to have to drive a little faster so we can get there sooner. It was the longest drive of my life and it took 3 hrs. We were going 30mph in a 75mph due to the rain (I mean her driving) on the highway. She was nervous driving in the rain lol lol I told her she could never drive us anywhere again and that I was driving back.

We arrive at the location and all we saw was a huge blue barn and stables. I was in AWE over the horses there had to be over 30 horses there. I wanted to stay with the horses especially this beautiful white one. Now I'm rambling......

Long story short we were at the wrong barn (O_x) so I made a phone call and we were 1/3 of a mile down the dirt road from the correct barn. We arrived there were a lot of vehicles and there stood the correct blue barn.

I ended up two stepping and doing the chicken dance while laughing my face off during the 1 hour we were there. Even though we spent more time in the car than at the dance I have to admit I had a lot of fun in one hour and there were a lot of Geeks there. I had my eye on this one geek. From the neck up he was hott! Below the neck he was 500% geek and all I could think about was taking him shopping and dressing him so it wasn't so obvious he was a geek. Now, I'm no fashion queen but he needed help. As it turned out this geek worked for the same company I work for go figure what are the chances! He was checking me out also, but since he was a true blood geek there was no way he was going to ask for my number. So I just told him to look me up at work and gave him my secret code name ^_^ Now the ball is in his court!

This is the short version (O^O)

Dance

It's official I'm a true GEEK I attended a Barn dance last night.

I'm still trying to comprehend what happen!

Details soon to come............

A friend in need is a friend in deed.

Immmmm baaaack!

Yes and this time I'm talking about friends..... how many of us have them? friends.....ones we can depend on.

Just the other day I was thinking about my friends and having conversations with a few of my so called friends.

When I am in need of assistance from my friends, it's often difficult to ask and be exposed as "Human" and interdependent upon others. That is the hardest part. and it's also the part that makes me wonder how good of a friend am I.

So I considered for a while am I one of those so called friends who can only befriend someone in need? I can be that friend who can come to the rescue and save the day. I can cheer a pal who's down, I can lend a helping hand sometimes even to my own detriment. I'm a great friend in need. But am I a friend in deed?

Check this out. as I examine my inner most places, I discovered that I carry expectations. Expectations of reciprocation of intent and deed. When I'm in need, I look to my friends to be the friend that I am. I expect them to cheer me, to put themselves aside to assist me in my time of lack, to act in my stead as a champion of my best interest. no matter the personal cost to them excusing emanate detriment. Fair? NO absolutely not. When they do not come thru in the way that I would have them, I am upset, sad and sometimes angry at them simply for not being me and doing what I would have done. So why all the introspection? Why not. perhaps the world would be a better and more authentic place if it were such that more of us interdependent humans spent more time inside our selves than elsewhere. Could it be that "friendship" is a comfortable concept that has been accepted by the masses to qualify our innate interdependent nature, while preserving our fragile ego-ideals?

I think I'll be spending some time pondering this concept and get back to you all in a while. till then......keep your friends close and your enemies even closer.""

Gummy Bears

Gummi bear (sometimes spelled 'gummy bear'); a small, rubbery-textured confectionery, roughly two centimetres long, shaped in the form of a bear. The lil' colourful and chewy bear bits which kept me awake through the day sometimes.

I usually chew off its head first.

Watz up?

This is what happens when I take time off from work (^O_X^)

What I've been up to isn't important, lets talk about head and heart matters...and lets not omit the signals and direction that comes from that place between thighs.

It's kinda cool when two outta the three are congruent, it's scary when all three seem to be saying the same things, and it's crazy when only one of the three says "awe, that water isn't shallow." What to do what to do, sex always complicates things, I mean, there are so many things to negotiate..previous histories, diagnosis, partners, feelings, expectations, points of phycosis, condom use...the list could be even longer. Abstainance is still always an OPTION.

When my sex is not my weapon, or my currency. What stops me from engaging in a sexual relationship with out commitment?

When my sex is not my obsession or my gift to my partner. What pushes me to indulge full in sex with reckless abandon?

When my sex is mine and I am empowered to hold or share it. What makes me make choices about intimacy that feel like missed opportunites?

Men, Ladies please think about what sex means to you before engaging in it. Define intimacy for yourself and evaluate the WHYS. Remain curious.

Sex Safely !

Funny

Please turn up your volume or use a headset if your at work. I'm still laughing. Why do we laugh at things that are funny, but shouldn't be funny. I'm guilty of this myself. Apparently the Host was fired after this.

I so needed this laugh!!

Migraine

So I awoke in the middle of the night with a Migraine. Currently I'm in my idea of hell right now. I showed up to work as usual. The drugs have not kicked in yet. I need them to kick in before I got swim laps at lunch time today. Mind you I have a high pain tolerance so this is hell. Being that I was the only girl growing up I can tolerate a lot of pain (O^X) It's Friday so it should be a slow day. I had plan on looking for places I could transfer to with my job in other states or maybe in another country. Not going to happen until I can read in peace without making my pain worst. There is no rush I have time to do the research. If I do leave the state I will miss my Bre :(

Way too soon....

So I tried to start back running this morning. Hell, obviously it's still way too soon LOL. I won't tell you how far I got because you would laugh at me at least I tried. So today I'm back to laps again today. Yes, my skin is hating me right now but my body loves me. :-)

Wild life Party "09"

I just received my official invitation to the Wild life Party "09" For the last couple years we have been having a wild life party at my ex boss house. Who is now my bosses boss, but her and I are still close. She is wild and cool and never before have I worked for a company that encourages you to have fun at work. The theme means you should wear some type of Wild life print, but you don't have too there are always Wild life stuff provided for you.

Anyway, Last year I left the party early because my mom was in town visiting and I did not want to leave home alone even though she said it was OK and for me to enjoy myself after work :) it was awesome while I was there. The funny/interesting part is to watch how the newbies (employees new to the company attending) react. See most people kinda feeling weird initially because they thought it would just be a party. Little do they know it's kinda like a block party her neighbors next door and across the street are part of the party also and vehicles are parked everywhere. Once they have digested liquor they are Okay :)

Oh, did I mention she always has a bartender and beer kegs. This is not what the newbies expect.. So you have employees and management shooting pool, partying, and getting drunk together. It's a blast !!! I will update you if anything interesting happens at this years party. I do look forward to the party and I will stay later and I like to see who passes out I don't know why I like to watch people who are drunk at house parties although I do not enjoy watching drunk people in public or at dance clubs(^O_O^)

Avoidance

Just one of those days!

Blah...

I feel so fat today even though I have lost 7lbs Woo Hoo!!!. I have one more hour before I can go swim laps. Apparently, some of my viewers do not enjoy or know how to swim. I'm sorry for your loss. Your really missing out (Lee... cough cough) (^O_O^)

Mum....

Slim Goodbody...

Anybody remember this nerdlick?I know it's not very nice but...GEEK!!

I See stoopid people...

Ugh.

I get easily irritated by other people's stupidity. (Lol - I better keep my mouth shut. I excel at stupid moments myself!)

So, This morning I went to the store to get breakfast and I proceeded to check out.

The total is $26.31

Well, I do not have exactly 0.31 cents, and I do NOT want a whole bunch of useless change back. So in my head, I figured how to get 3 quarters back in change. This is perfect, so I can use 2 quarters later to buy a soda from the machine at work.

My plan is brilliant!!! *high five*

I give the cashier $27.06

She stares at me like I'm an idiot. She says "it's 26 thirty-one."

I stare back at her, like she's the idiot. And I say "I know."

And I'm wondering in my head, wtf is she trying to figure out? She has a cash register smack dab in front of her! All she has to do is type-in the amount I give her, and this cash register will tell her how much change to give back. She does not need to mentally process anything! Her confusion is unnecessary!

She stares at me again. Then she stares at the 0.06 cents in her hand. As if the answer will magically appear if she can stare long enough.

But alas, the answer does not appear. So she starts typing into her register.

And she types $26.06!!!

And the register won't close the sale bc it's saying that there's still a balance of 0.25 left!!!

OMG. I try to explain to her what just happened. But it is not clicking!!! She says that I still owe her another 0.25. And I'm telling her that she typed everything wrong and she owes me 0.75!!!

My blood pressure is sky-rocketing at this point

I tell her to re-count the amount I gave her. She counts $27.06. I point out to her that the cash register only reads $26.06. And finally the light bulb goes off!!!

But then she's like, "But I don't know what to do, because the register says that you still owe me 0.25."

I tell her to give me 0.75.

She does so, but without correcting the mistake she typed into the cash register.

I leave.

She's stuck with an open sale on the register.

After I leave I thought to myself my tags are expired and I'm so close to the Police Dept and I say to myself watch a cop pull behind me. And just as I get to the light one did. So I got pulled over LOL and was asked did I know my plates were expired ha ha! Needless to say I did not get a ticket. I don't get tickets I get business cards LOL they always bring my DL, registration, Insurance card back to me with a business card and off to work I went (o_O)

The Unit.....

Ok, I'm moving to another Safehouse this one is not working out (and I'm not talking about a shelter) I so hate moving, but this is the consequence for being high profile/famous/witness. The good thing is I don't have to keep moving all my things it's all safe in storage(Cold and lonely or hot at times.) Now I take things I need or want with me and everything else stays in storage where it is nice and safe. Not a dull moment in my life the one thing that has remain constant is my job/career I can move all over the states and transfer. O.k I had to get that off my chest.

Cell Phone Etiquette...

I go to the woman’s bathroom at work today and some lady is in there (in another other stall) peeing and talking on the cell phone, which ok, I have to admit when nature calls by all means answer (no pun intended)…but I went into the 2nd stall over from her and peed (lol…too much info) but when I was done I did not know if I should flush the toilet or not…so I stood there wishing I had the magic 8 ball (I always consult the magic 8 ball on all important decisions) I thought the conversation might end, but it didn’t, well I did not want to spend anymore time in there so I flushed the toilet, but I am so sure the person on the other end of the phone heard it. GAWD!!!

TXTing for Idiots

Ok, I have to admit I have text messaged more in the last couple months than I have in my whole life. I will be the first to admit I am not very textually active. (EBBAF- error between brain and fingers?) I have seen people whip out messages at light speed like my BFF (best friend forever). I use more of the turtle speed method. (TMOT – trust me on this) I have also become aware that I should not try to send a text message while driving. Today on the way home I think I took out a street sign, a mailbox, and a biker…ok I am just kidding but I think the only time I was in my lane was between letters. (HHIS-head hanging in shame) Is there some kind of texting for idiot's book? (IRMC – I rest my case)

a lil sumthin that needs to come out

At this point I have so many questions. What is the meaning of Love? What is the structure of an exciting love story in contemporary times? And once the story commences how do you keep it going? How can we trust what seems real, or for that matter, how can we trust anything these days? Nothing seems to be built to last: cars, clothes, dental crowns and especially relationships. With the high divorce and infidelity rates, marriage seems like a bad bet even for people with a gambling addiction. The phrase serial monogamy sounds too much like a Curable STD. Should we not have a collections of loves and/or marriages: one for sex and one for kids, one for therapy, one for companionship and maybe a Las Vegas one for fun.

I know things have changed since the 1950's especially with gender roles shifting, blurring and smearing. Women juggle the stress of careerism with the gravity of biology with a sense of truncated liberation and Men heed to the duty to provide at the risk of emotional impairment and hesitating masculinity.

The way and how we communicate these days is so conducive to the impersonal and emotional fakery. Emails/texting is such a contraceptional prophylactic agency of deception and detachment, where the virtual is virtually everywhere, competing vociferously with the staleness of a pedestrian reality. And in the land of Internet Connections, ithis and ithat, where busy people meet, and check in about their day, find out how someone is coping with their self doubt and insecurities there is insidious vapor of self-centeredness and faux connections that impede the journey to the things that we all say we want: Love and Intimacy.

I know how to love children, nature, friends, objects, things, ideas and dreams. But to love a man is something different, I am learning. It is more art and not mathematics. It is spiritual and not political. It is magical not didactical. It is a gigantic leap of faith not a calculated formula that lands one in the lap of safety and comfort. I realized that the thirst for knowledge and truth at the expense of magic destroys the spirit, blemishes the art and spoils the palate. I know first hand the failure of theory over practice, talking over hugging, and dreaming over living. As I engage my partner in the journey for love , I must simply love more from the heart and less from the mind and realize that a whisper can be more powerful than a roar and that small steps can be more meaningful than gigantic ones. But am I willing to sacrifice and dwell in places of famine and scarcity for this love and keep waiting, remaining open and not give up and not relenting to the adversary who is impudence, impotent connection, desperation? The answer is most certainly, YES.

I know patience is essential and preparedness is foundational, however the wait is killing me! Images of a past life suggest that I was a healer and that I was much too busy...or made myself to appear that way, to love and be open...My love was exhibited in the service that I constantly found myself in to those who were in need of easing of pain and suffering from life's insidious diseases and ailments. Today I suffer the ailment of heartsickness, red eyes and swollen nasal passages are clinical presentations of the deeper ailment. My prescription, to stand fast. To experience what the Sufi call "weathering that which wears you down, a firing of the soul and spirit" I know this to be true....what I possess is real, what I am able to co-create is real, and love....be it the search for such or the abandonment of the same is timeless.

I hope to apply the examples of times' greatest lovers in my journey, and that others will find a way to do the same.

Sanitizer Doody...

I work in a specific industry. I do not work at McDonalds, Target, Texas Roadhouse, or Payless shoe store. My job is unique and caters to one specific thing! Due to my awesome coworker Bre and I laughing so much today we were chosen for a “special project.” Apparently we were chosen because we are the least busy or should I say it appears we are not busy because we are happy and laughing. Here is what we were chosen to do.

We happily deliver hand sanitizers and wipes to all conference rooms’ and other areas deemed important blah blah blah... I don’t recall laughing while we were performing the “special project.” I didn’t mind doing it because it got me away from my desk, phone, and priorities. This is the deal Shorty is always asking people to do special projects and I’ve manage to dodge them up until today {o_x}

Deaf and communication...

Communication is one of the most essential aspects of everyday life and it is also one that is taken for granted. Not being able to communicate properly is one of the obstacles that deaf people struggle to overcome even when they are surrounded by family and friends who love them. Not all people know sign language and speech can sometimes become an obstruction rather than a means to communicate. The following story is dedicated to deaf people of all ages and their families ---This is at the beginning of the video I typed it out due to some people having trouble reading the fine print.

If you have 10min to spare please view the video with your undivided attention, if you don’t have time please come back later to view :). I sign and have been known to tutor deaf students on occasions. I went to school for interpreting but due to me being a very shy person during that time of my life I did not finish, but I’m fluent in ASL.

Amazing Tim Fort Kinetic Art

Tim Fort's Kinetic Art Demo Video @ Yahoo! Video

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW..............................Imagine a lot of time and hard work putting everything together and pulling it off so successfully!! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

TGIF-Being naughty ;)