Gratefulness

I am grateful for a lot of things in my life. I am especially grateful for two very strong and important woman in my life. Where would I be without them? They have been apart of my life for over a decade even in my late teens I knew them. They have a great family now with two beautiful children that I adore. I would like to say Thank you for being apart of my life!! I am grateful for my Mother and that she did an awesome job of raising a great, responsible, smart, and beautiful daughter. That would be me ^_^

Somethings we take for granted. I was thinking last night about all the things I am grateful for. I am grateful for have a roof over my head, a vehicle to get around in, and cloths on my back, the trees, the sun, the moon, snow, the smell of the rain, the sound of laughter, and a simple I love you between two friends. I have good friends and some family members that I look up to. It only take one incident to change your feelings. I have been able to change negative emotions into something positive lately and I've been reading a lot more than usual and enjoying me time.

I've be pondering a lot of things lately. One being my career and if it's something I want to continue. I have several options on the table and am unsure of what to do. I enjoy my job don't get me wrong, but I do not enjoy working under the boss I currently have. I feel he is very negative and enjoys finding your weakness instead of strengths. Speaking of strengths we were assigned to read a book called "Strengths Finder 2.0" and to take the online quiz to see what our strengths are and then e-mail them to mtg. My thoughts are hmmm what will come of it. Does this mean they will focus more on our strengths in the workplace and encourage us in certain areas? Or is this an exercise for us to reflect on personally.

Did You Say Something?

I have become semi mute lately. I no longer speak much I feel that it is best I remain silent and keep my mouth shut and bit my tongue as much as possible. I give people the benefit of a doubt. I found out that people I trust have been dishonest with me. It really sucks and has you doubting others. One may ask how do I know it's true? Trust me I know their the only one who would have known the information. I have also been accused of things that aren't true. I really dislike it when assumptions are made about me. All I ask is for people to call me aside and talk to me and ask if you have a concern and not to discuss it with others because then rumors start. I hate being the last one to find out something that supposedly happened. I get that it's hard to talk to people I know for me if I care about you it's harder for me to talk to you or to say "No", but if I value you as a friend then I will get the balls to talk to you. Then it always end up being easier than I thought. It takes a lot for me to trust people and once that has been violated you have to rebuild it.

If

theres a group of people out there that expect their mate to change so that their goals align with the others'

theres another group of people that do not wish for their mate to change at all and of course they do and simply respond with 'people change'

i have found myself in both of these groups with the lack of understanding that change is inevitable but we dont always recognize it as such

i now know that i dont want the impression of change to occur or bend with me in sight

if the change occurs naturally and becomes misaligned with the intentional goals sought out by both mates then it was never meant to be

if there is insight proven for a need of change then it was never meant to be

if your vocabulary/communication obstructs the truth or you can never be sure of the exact meaning put into context ...or if you are in the same book but cant find the same page...or if you are in the library at the same time but cant find the same book...trouble lurks ahead

if your goals (short and long term) dont align, then whats the point?

if you are looking for a relationship the right one will not occur, if you are not searching for a relationship it seems as though 'when it rains it pours'

then there is the term of isolation which is meant for nourishment of your soul, use this time wisely, although lonely it is time for discovery and allowment for search, growth, healing and rebirth